These questions were adapted from a Tumblr Q&A that was asked up me awhile back. I think it’s a fun way for readers to know more about me and my life and discuss some cool topics.
What would you name your future daughter?
Hmm… most people would hate the names I was thinking about (why I was even thinking about children, I really don’t know). But I really like the name Stella. I also like the name Greta (but my cat was named Greta first so I don’t know how that would go over). I like the name Agnes but I’d never name a child that. I think she’d kill me. Penelope too. Aspen is another name I like but I don’t think I could stand having both me and my child named after a tree.
I’d probably name her Avery. I like that name and I don’t think it’s too objectionable. My taste in girl names really isn’t the best tbh, but I really like Avery (I like Stella too but you’d be surprised how many people don’t like the name Stella).
Do you miss anyone?
Yes. I’m missing a couple of people. One in particular (see 27). But it’s been like that for a long time and after all this time I just can’t deal with it anymore. I still feel it, but I’m tired of it. I’m tired of missing people. Things are going to be the way they are and I’m just going to keep going on with my life.
Have you kissed three or more people in one night?
I had to think about this one. I don’t think I have, unless I’ve missed something. I’ve definitely (a couple of times) kissed two people in one night, but not three. There was one night where I kissed one of my best friends and the girl I was dating (just for fun, I don’t have romantic feelings for my friend we were at the party and I guess we both always wondered about that). She gave me a thumbs up. She’s pretty good too. There was another night where I kissed both guys I was dating (not at the same time). I didn’t really want to be dating one of them anymore but he didn’t want to let go. Bad time in my life.
There was one night at a party where I kissed one random guy. I think that was it though. I was not so drunk that I would’ve forgotten things. What I remember most clearly was trying to hike with docs on and half-smashed on Strawberry Ale. Fun time.
Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?
No it took place on a field.
Are you good at hiding your feelings?
I don’t know anymore. I write about my feelings. I tell people very close to me some things. I leave other things out. I don’t know how much people can read off of my face or how I act. I used to think not much, but I’m not sure anymore. Maybe.
I mean I try to keep my feelings from people. I don’t go out and say how I’m feeling, sometimes it’s just obvious.
Have you ever cried from being so mad?
I pretty much only cry when I’m angry. So yes. A lot.
Who did you last see in person?
Both of my parents who are now arguing about politics, which is normal in our family. For the record, I’m super far left but I respect other political views.
Are you listening to music right now?
Two songs are really on my mind right now (I’m also listening to them).
Beginners by Slow Club because it really pertains to my life. Or at least I feel like it does. I first heard it watching Daniel Radcliffe in the music video right when it first came out. I really like that video. I’ve also been drunk and done shit like that, thankfully alone where no one could see me. This part is especially relevant:
“ And in a moment it all came to this
The greatest book you ever read came from my favorites list
Of all the things to lose,
it’s you I choose.
Oh, I told you, oh, to be older,
You know I’m right
The other one is ‘Broken Open’ by Cold War Kids. For me that song as been about three different people in my life (one of them I really miss) and it’s a really good song but it’s really tough to listen to sometimes. Very difficult.
What is something you currently want right now?
Besides World Peace? Safe passage and homes for immigrants? Better access to healthcare in America? A law system that is better prepared to charge and prosecute rapists/sex criminals? A law and police system that doesn’t further victimize the victims of such crimes? Justice for victims of crimes of racial hatred? For Feminism not to be a dirty word and for Feminism to address the concerns of more women, not just certain women? General fairness and a better education system that reaches the people who need it most?
I think a lot of people want those things. But more selfishly I want peace of mind and health.
Since those things aren’t happening any time soon I’d like my favorite smoothie order (Strawberry Surfrider or Lucky Lemon Punch), a cute silk or satin pj set, more lingerie (maybe something red or purple?), lots new makeup, morebooks, jeans that actually fit properly, decent tees, and a great super awesome date that ends with kissing on a god damn bed. Oh and for my job search and applications to go well.
What is the last thing you said out lot?
“Those were some really good brownies” (to diffuse a situation) and “Turn on Lucifer!”
How is your heart lately?
I think it’s getting smaller. I can’t seem to care as much as I used to. There’s just something cold and detached about it. I’m always thinking that if a person turns out to be different than I thought they were, I’ll be okay no matter what. That’s great. But I do love someone very much right now and I want things to work out between us.