My Cotton Candy Space Princess Look/ NYX Ultimate Brights First Impression Tutorial

So just to be clear I never usually buy what I say I’m going to buy because something else takes my fancy for no particular reason and I usually spend a long time planning any purchase over $10 because otherwise, I have a history of being unhappy with my purchases. However, in this case, I went for it. I bought NYX’s Ultimate Brights Palette when I was at Target the other day because I had a look in mind and I hadn’t been so inspired by a palette (that I could reasonably afford) in a long time. Below I’m going to walk you through the look I created and give my thoughts from my first time using the palette.

First off, here is what the palette looks like (keep in mind though that apparently starting from the red shade on the left, colors two, three, and six are pigments and not safe for direct use in your eye… which is really confusing and they don’t exactly spell that out anywhere but in a photo on a covered up sticker on the back):

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It’s really full of bright colors and different tones but there are a lot of pretty wearable shades in the palette as well that could be used to make a fun, but not so in-your-face look.

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For example, the yellow, orange, and muted green shades along with the more muted pinky purples aren’t quite all unwearable on the daily, especially if they aren’t paired together or with another, more muted companion palette. Personally, I bought this to really go all out there so you won’t see me using it for something subdued any time soon, but I do want to point out some of versatility this palette has.

Now here are pictures of the look I created with the palette (I didn’t use winged eyeliner because I really wanted the shadows to pop on their own):

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Now as you can see, my eyebrows are all crazy (ignore that if you please) but the look is also really simple (I only used three shades and three brushes, not including my finger tips), and the lip really adds to the otherwordly spaciness of the whole ensemble.

I’m going to walk you through what I did rather quickly because it took a couple of seconds honestly.

  1. First I used the pinky purple shade in my crease with a Real Techniques crease brush (after I applied eyeshadow primer) and just really buffed it in there.Inked20171108_105005_LI
  2. Next, I used the cool toned, more cotton candy-esue blue shade on my entire lid, patting it on with an ecotools eyeshadow brush before I switched to my wet n wild large shadow brush to get more pigment on the brush (and therefore more color pay off). I felt like this shade needed a little building up, but once I got it there, I was quite happy with the appearance.Inked20171108_105005_L2
  3. After that I took my crease brush and went into the hot pink shade, first patting and blending on my outer v eye area for a diffused pink effect and then really laying the pigment down some more with the same brush. Then I popped quite a bit of that same shade into the inner corners of my eye and to the inner part of my lid (but not into my crease) because I decided to go for a sort of ‘halo candy eye’ effect. When all that was done the blue looked a little more subdued than I wanted so I patted more of the blue from the second step on my eyelids with my finger. That’s when I really felt how intense the color pay off was so I highly recommend trying your finger with some of these shades.Inked20171108_105005_L3
  4. Lastly, and I guess I lied a little here, I did use some of that fun bright blue shade on my lower lash line simply with a crease brush. I also took my finger and popped more of that hot pink shade into my inner corners for a really bright effect.Inked20171108_105005_L4

And that was the full look! Of course I added mascara and my usual face makeup on next (there was some fall out with the palette, but only the blue shades) and went in with my Glossier Paint Cloud in Puff, a tiny bit of highlighter, and for the lips since I wanted a really liquidy look, (I went back in forth between wanting to use this product and the Glossier lip gloss for a glass sort of effect) Colourpop’s Ultra Glossy Lip from their My Little Pony Collection in the shade Ponyland.

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For the round up: I was really impressed with the color selection and color pay off from these shadows. They were exactly what I wanted and I was able to create a simple, but punchy look from them too. The palette is definitely beginner friendly (as you can probably tell I’m not an eyeshadow goddess or anything) and the only time I had the slightest trouble was with the first blue shade. That being said, it’s more than a bit strange that the pigment shades aren’t technically ‘safe’ for getting into the eyes. Thankfully, a majority of the shades are however. 🙂

I’m really looking forward to seeing how I’ll use this palette in the future! Thanks for reading and let me know what looks you would like to see with this palette!

 

 

 

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For later

OK there is a story behind this two pictures. I’ve been dealing with a lot of stress lately so I haven’t felt or looked my best. Today I couldn’t sit still thinking about going to work because I couldn’t stand how ugly I looked or useless I am.

I took these pictures because I want to be able to look back at them at a later time and call myself on my bullshit. Right now I just can’t but I can say: Here is what I look like today and I’m going to work like this.

And that’s enough for right now. Please let me know if you have any tips for when you feel like this!

Cool Products I Want to Try Out ASAP

Now that I have a job and some means of income that doesn’t pull straight from my savings, I can afford to be looking at some cool new products. Now this doesn’t mean I can afford all of them (or nearly all of them) but these are some things I’ve been considering now that I have money and the Sephora VIB sale is coming up!

First off, let’s start with lip products. I really want to get my hands on Touch in Sol’s Metallist Liquid Foil Lipstick in LucyJasmine, or Sophie. Now I’m leaning towards Sophie because the color is right up my alley, but I really want something wearable as well. Well, as wearable as glitter lips can be! I already have a sample size of Zaza and I think the formula of these is fantastic! It would be a perfect New Year’s Eve/ Holiday lip color or a nice special occasion thing when I feel like going all out.

Now moving on to eyes… I really want an eye gloss. I know they’re always rated poorly and you can get a similar effect just by putting lip gloss on your eyes but I want something that’s actually formulated to be around my eyes and I’ve sampled eye glosses before so I know what I’m getting into (and I love them). Here are some options: a super pretty clear eye gloss from YSL that I’ve previously sampled or Mac’s Studio Eye Gloss/ Steve J & Yoni P for a super shiny, wet look. Let me know if there are great cheaper options out there, please!

While we are still on eyes I’d like to get to more traditional eye makeup like Laura Mercier’s Eye Caviar stick in the shade Tuxedo or Kiko Milano’s Long Lasting Shadow Sticks in the shades Black and Lagoon Blu .I like the texture (but not the cost) of the Laura Mercier one but I saw (the super awesome) Youtuber violette_fr use the Kiko ones in some of her videos and I loved the way her looks turned out!

In the eye department I’d also like to try NYX’s Ultimate Eyeshadow Palette in Brights because I’m a big fan of having fun with makeup now and I know I could make the brightly colored eyeshadows wearable for work (or you know, my days off).

Now I’m sure everyone else has tried Fenty Beauty but I have yet to buy any products from the brand. I’ve gotten shade matched in the foundation (shade 120–for fair skin with neutral undertones… and also the third from lightest shade because I’m so god damn pale) and that had a nice feeling, though I didn’t end up purchasing because I don’t do foundation. However, what I’m really interested in are the Match Sticks (yes I love Stick products) in the shades Amber (a super cool contour shade that makes me want to try contouring), Starstruck, and Confetti. I’ve also seen these used on the eyes and they looked like a great multi tasking product so I’m super keen on these.

Ok we are getting near the end of my list but I would also like to throw out that I really want to try ELF’s Mad for Matte 2 because the shades seem really similar to the Too Faced Just Peachy Matte Palette, their Sport Active line (because I’m into sweatproof makeup), and their Beautifully Bare Highlighting Stick in the shade Fresh Morning Dew because even though it has Coconut Oil and my skin is majorly acne prone, I still love the idea (and look of) a pure glossy, wet-skin looking highlight. I can’t help myself.

Last but not least I want to try some of Target’s new skincare items by the brand Whamisa in the Green Tea Line for Oily Skin because 1) it looks like it could actually work and 2) after I was already interested in purchasing it Ingrid Nilsen, who has a very similar skin type to mine, recommended it.

Now that’s just about it for my list of makeup I want to try but mark my words, I will be buying whatever Glossier’s Holiday Set is this year because while I had a not so great experience in their store, I love their makeup and I deeply regret not purchasing last year’s set (especially since I own almost everything from it).

Thanks for reading this! Let me know what you’re thinking of purchasing in the coming months!

 

 

 

 

 

Goals Update: Best Birthday in a Long Time+ Book Haul from NYC

I don’t think I’ve hid the fact that I’ve had some struggles lately or that I’m “working on myself” quite a bit. That being said, this past Sunday (well the 15th( was my Birthday so I took a break from everything I was doing and hoped on a train to NYC to visit my other friend in Manhattan. It was awesome (besides one store experience… see my previous My Experience at the Glossier Show Room to hear more about that) and I pretty much had my dream birthday besides the fact that I was broke af. But here are some goal updates with an added bonus of a book haul from The Strand.

Job:  I was hired at my dream job. Let me repeat because I’m so happy–MY DREAM JOB. It’s a job I’m perfectly suited for and I’ll basically be selling books. After all my money troubles and health struggles, it’s so satisfying and just plain nice to be able to write that I have my orientation tomorrow. Besides becoming a therapist, I feel like this is the job I was born to do. When I told one of my best friends Joey, she said that it was a perfect job for me because she associates me with books and warmth. I’m so happy that I can finally get afloat financially and go to work everyday.

GREs: I’m super nervous for these but to be fair, three of the programs I’m applying for don’t require the GREs. I really need to get on top of this though because my test date on the 4th is coming up.

Cooking: I’m back to making my rice balls and tofu. My bread making class (using yeast) is going really well and I’m learning a lot. I just made Anadama Bread and it turned out wonderful. I made Raisin Bread the week before and that also worked out great. I’m very glad that I’m learning this super useful skill because homemade bread is the best. It also doesn’t take too long to make! Next time I’ll take a picture of my loaf before I cut into it!

Transportation: I still have my amazing health insurance that helps with transportation but I really need to get my license. I needed to get it pretty much yesterday, but I’ve had the GREs and other stuff going on. I’m going to have to pay my parents for gas now, and honestly, I’d rather have the freedom of being behind the wheel. Basically, this is the only goal I’m hardcore failing at.

Volunteering/ Classes: I’ve actually been volunteering at a mental health clubhouse the last month, doing their data entry, helping out with interns and planning, and stuff like that. It’s been extremely fulfilling and I’m made a lot of friends and met a lot of nice people along the way.

I’m also still continuing to work towards my grad school goals. I’ve gotten all the letters of rec I needed, wrote a personal statement, and have started all my applications. My parents birthday present to me is paying for $130 dollars worth of application fees. Getting a job is also really helping this goal because now I’ll be able to afford to pay to apply!

Dating: Has been going wonderful. My boyfriend is visiting me right now.

Here’s a photo of us:

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He’s super wonderful and damn near perfect so I’m really happy right now.

That’s it! I actually had a panic attack the other day (which was awful) because I feel like too many good things are going on in my life right now. I just feel like my life has never gone this well and the universe is going to take it away from me somehow, someway, which is super illogical.

Oh I almost forgot… the books I got from the Strand for my Birthday this past week!

  • Sex and Rage by Eve Babitz, which is written just how I like the books I read to be written. It’s a bit magical and poetic. A quote from the back is that it a novel about “a dreamy young girl moving between LA and New York”. I highly recommend checking Eve Babitz out.
  • Total Mood Killer by Merritt K and Niina Pollari is a poetry book that I also highly recommend. My favorite poem so far is “Every Mascara Is Exactly the Same” and features the lines “i wondered how many makeups/ it would take for you to like me”. It’s a beautiful book so far. 🙂
  • Moody Bitches: The Truth About the Drugs You’re Taking, the Sleep You’re Missing, the Sex You’re Not Having and What’s Really Making You Crazy by Julie Holland, MD is a really interesting book that I picked up because it relates to my chosen field (psychology) and a lot of it seems centered on discussing psychiatric drugs, which is definitely a subject I enjoy reading multiple opinions on. So far her writing style is extremely engaging and the subject is hitting home a bit. I figure that even if I disagree with her (which I haven’t so far but I’m not too far in), it will still be worth it to read more opinions and be more aware of some of the literature that’s around and heavily concerns my field.
  • Smut: Stories by Alan Bennett is just a fun book I picked up. I wanted something a little out there, something fun, and something “tender and comic” as The Independent (London) says on the back of the book. I haven’t really started the book yet, but it’s a really small book that I can’t imagine will take too much time to read.

 

Thanks for reading! What books are you currently reading? And what are your goals? How is your life going? Comment below!

 

 

 

My Experience at the Glossier Show Room

Let me save you some suspense and come right out and say it: I HATED IT.

Now that that is out of the way, let me explain to you what I thought the experience would be like and how excited I was to get my ass to NYC to go to this store. From everything I read in magazines and on  Intothegloss and from my own experience as a long time customer, I expected something popular but chill. I thought it would be a place where one could go after a long day, get great customer service, and just generally feel  better after they left. I expected the Glossier Showroom to be like my afternoon espresso pick me up. I thought this would be a place to hang out, to experiment with makeup, and be relaxed. You know somewhere I’d look forward to going to. Somewhere I’d want to go back to. I knew that it would be small and there would be a lot of people, but I thought it would be a special place. I guess I expected too much because it was none of these things.

First, there was a line out the door, which I was fine with. I expected it. It was NYC after all! What I liked less was that there was a person in a light pink prisonesque jumpsuit (I’m not kidding, the get-up/ uniform was weird and part of what made me so uncomfortable) managing the crowd fairly poorly and cramming us into a tiny elevator. Now I’m sure twenty people stuffed like sardines in a can into a very small elevator was against fire code regulations, but you know, who gives a shit, right? It’s ok to almost die to get your hands on some makeup.

Yah, it was at that point that I realized this was a “hell no” experience for someone like me. To be fair I’m extremely anxious, so I won’t hold how crowded the store was against them, but I will say the elevator was stuffed past maximum capacity and so was the store itself, once we got up. That’s not cool, no matter who you are. If there was an emergency, there would have been an all out stampede and people would’ve died. I’m not joking or saying this to be cruel. I’m saying that they needed to do a better job of crowd regulation. It was impossible to move around the store and try the makeup samples. It was not at all the relaxed place I’d read about online or in numerous articles. It was a shit show.

The people dressed in the pink jumpsuits weren’t terribly helpful or friendly. That’s fine. I worked in retail. I know how it is. But it was strange that they looked eerily similar, despite being of different races and ethnicities. You could tell they were all wearing Glossier products, which I suppose is the point. It was just so obviously a display of the stores merchandise on near perfect looking people in such a Stepfordish fashion, that it made me uncomfortable. Now I’m all here for the fresh faced beauty, minimal look. That’s why I like Glossier and their products. But I didn’t see any creativity. I saw forced smiles and platitudes all throughout the store. There wasn’t really room to try any of the products on and it was incredibly difficult to see where everything was because there were so many bodies blocking everything. At first I genuinely thought that the store didn’t carry the entire line of Glossier products. It took a lot of searching through an incredibly small store to find what I wanted. Then I was handed a piece of paper and told to wait in a long line (again, long lines weren’t the problem) and fill out my order like it was some sort of fast food joint. Actually, that’s sort of what it felt like–a makeup fast food joint during rush hour where everyone was tired and hungry, and just wanted their shit and to go home.

So I waited there with my friend and that list, by the two chairs where people could “hang out”, which I assume was the space that all the magazines and blog posts talked about, and wondered why I had traveled for this. Yes, I was frustrated at this point, but I still wanted the products because they were to be my birthday present. I was willing to deal with the strange atmosphere, unpleasantly crowded store breaking all sort of fire regulations, and not really being able to comfortably test the products because I was already there and knew what I wanted. When my friend asked me what was the point of going to the store instead of ordering online before I could even answer,the person in front of us turned around and point blank said “there is none”. Yep. There was none. This wasn’t a special place with amazing customer service and a cool vibe. Ordering online had always been a pleasant experience with free returns and beyond excellent service. This was pink pastel hell.

While in line I sent my boyfriend this string of texts:

Me: I just got to the place I went to NYC for and I’m extremely underwhelmed.

Him: What was it?

Me: A makeup store. It’s just so crowded. I want to explode. And I had a fucking turmeric latte. It was coconut milk and turmeric. I am so done with myself. I am clearly not an NYC person.

Him: I don’t know what turmeric is.

Me: It looks like gold dust. It’s a spice. I paid for damn coconut milk with gold dust.

Him: It doesn’t sound like you’re enjoying yourself.

Me: I want to kill me.

When I got to the register, I was relieved. I asked the cashier if I was able to use my store credit in the store (it was store credit I got because I made a return) and she said no. I’m not going to lie. By then I was pissed. Not at her and not visibly so, but I just didn’t get it so I asked her why I couldn’t use my store credit in the store. She said it was something about wanting the showroom to be special and separate from the online store. I internally screamed as she continued to explain how the store was really for New Yorkers and the whole point was that you could test the product and blah-blah-blah it was unfortunate, but no, I could not use my store credit in the store. I still got my birthday present and my friend cracked a joke about how awful the uniforms were to the staff and the cashier laughed because honestly, the uniforms were really fucking weird and the woman wearing it seemed to agree.

Now I was still hopeful and happy because I knew I was going to get a Glossier perfume sample. That made it all worth it to me. But as soon as I got on the subway and sprayed it on my wrists, I felt all the wasted hours hit me all at once. I gave my best friend my wrist to smell and she said “this is straight up Juicy fucking Couture”. And it was. By then, I was truly done.

I didn’t write this to shit on Glossier. I love their makeup. I’m going to continue to purchase it. Just online, never in person. Never ever again. I no longer think of Glossier as the “brand that cares”. They’re just like every other makeup company out there, trying hardcore to sell their products. And no, I would never wear their sweatshirt. Just their makeup.

 

 

 

Cheapest of Cheap Makeup that Actually Works Well

This post is for all of you (like me) who are on a major budget and just need great quality items at a super low cost. I’m not just talking drug store, but here I tried to compile the cheapest of the drug store without skimping on quality at all. This post was inspired by the super awesome Wet N Wild Megaglow highlighters (which honestly work better than most high end ones) so let’s get into it. Everything here is under 10 US dollars. I won’t do a full face of makeup here because I don’t have a full set of super cheap products I would recommend, but I’ll add some options at the end that I am interested in trying and have been recommended by other people.

Foundation: I don’t often wear foundation and the ones I do own are from the drugstore, but they’re not what I would call cheap. However, Maybelline’s Dream BB Cream is a great option that I have packed in my “I need to get ready in the car but still look good” makeup bag. It has SPF 30 and it’s rated 5 stars on Paula’s Choice so I’d recommend trying it out if you’re not a high coverage girl.

Concealer: Definitely the Wet n Wild’s photo focus concealer. I’m not a big fan of the foundation, but the concealer covers my spots well and stays on. Plus I think it was around 3 or 4 dollars. Works better than a lot of more expensive drug store concealers I’ve tried.

Brow Product: Hands down Elf’s brow pencil in Neutral Brown. It was only two dollars and I use it nearly everyday. A great product.

Eye Shadow Primer: Seriously try Essence’s Intensity eye shadow primer or go ahead  and use your concealer for the cheapest option. However, I use Milani’s eye shadow primer everyday and it’s the best option hands down, drugstore or otherwise.

Eyeshadows: The cheapest options that are seriously good are Wet n Wild’s eyeshadow trios. My favorites are Walking on Eggshells and Silent Treatment. I get compliments every time I wear them (especially Silent Treatment with some liquid eyeliner) and they’re highly pigmented and super easy to blend. These trios seriously impress me and they cost 3 dollars so you can’t go wrong.

Lips: NYX, Wet n Wild, and Elf own this category. I love NYX’s soft matte lip creams, their butter lipsticks, and their creamy extra round lipsticks. Their matte lipsticks are also great for the most part (Aria, a color I was super excited about, gave me a hard time). Wet n Wild has the best and cheapest liquid lipsticks you can buy, along with really great gel lipliners and gel lip balms that I really like. However, Elf has the cheapest actual lipsticks that I would recommend. Try their Velvet Matte lipsticks, their lip oils, or their Mineral Rich Lipsticks. Great quality and color pay off for 3-6 dollars.

Brushes: Definitely Elf and Wet n Wild. Those brushes have never let me down and have never shed. They’re also super easy to clean. I highly recommend all of these.

Highlighters: Okay, this is the section I am most excited about and the section that inspired this post. Yesterday I was lucky enough to finally find the Wet n Wild Mega Glow highlighters at a Rite Aid near me and I picked up the shades Royal Calyx and Blossom Glow. They’re beautiful. I’m going to insert two pictures of my face with the highlighter on (ignore the rest of my makeup). 

Color me seriously impressed (BTW I’m wearing Royal Calyx in the photos).

One other super great highlighter option is Essence’s Pure Nude Highlighter. That shit is beautiful and everyday friendly.

Now to the products I’ve heard great things about and am interested in trying:

You might have noticed that I didn’t have mascara or powder on this list. Well, I’m super interested in trying Essence’s Lash Princess mascra, which is cheap and supposed to be the excellent. I’m also interested in trying Essence’s little All Matte powder and their Mosaic color correcting powder.

Wet n Wild’s Lash Renagade Mascra, their photo focus powder, and their felt tip pen eyeliner are all super cheap and supposed to be great.

Last but not least, Elfs Bare Serum Foundation sounds right up my alley and is something really cheap for the girls out there that would like a little more coverage.

As far as super cheap blushes and bronzer from the drug store go, you’ll have to comment and let me know because I’m not aware of anything that is both majorly cheap and of great quality.

Thanks for reading and let me know some of your favorite options.

 

Get to know me: A Personal Q&A

These questions were adapted from a Tumblr Q&A that was asked up me awhile back. I think it’s a fun way for readers to know more about me and my life and discuss some cool topics.

What would you name your future daughter?

Hmm… most people would hate the names I was thinking about (why I was even thinking about children, I really don’t know). But I really like the name Stella. I also like the name Greta (but my cat was named Greta first so I don’t know how that would go over). I like the name Agnes but I’d never name a child that. I think she’d kill me. Penelope too. Aspen is another name I like but I don’t think I could stand having both me and my child named after a tree.

I’d probably name her Avery. I like that name and I don’t think it’s too objectionable. My taste in girl names really isn’t the best tbh, but I really like Avery (I like Stella too but you’d be surprised how many people don’t like the name Stella).

Do you miss anyone?

Yes. I’m missing a couple of people. One in particular (see 27). But it’s been like that for a long time and after all this time I just can’t deal with it anymore. I still feel it, but I’m tired of it. I’m tired of missing people. Things are going to be the way they are and I’m just going to keep going on with my life.

Have you kissed three or more people in one night?

I had to think about this one. I don’t think I have, unless I’ve missed something. I’ve definitely (a couple of times) kissed two people in one night, but not three.  There was one night where I kissed one of my best friends and the girl I was dating (just for fun, I don’t have romantic feelings for my friend we were at the party and I guess we both always wondered about that). She gave me a thumbs up. She’s pretty good too. There was another night where I kissed both guys I was dating (not at the same time). I didn’t really want to be dating one of them anymore but he didn’t want to let go. Bad time in my life.

There was one night at a party where I kissed one random guy. I think that was it though. I was not so drunk that I would’ve forgotten things. What I remember most clearly was trying to hike with docs on and half-smashed on Strawberry Ale. Fun time.

Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

No it took place on a field.

Are you good at hiding your feelings?

I don’t know anymore. I write about my feelings. I tell people very close to me some things. I leave other things out. I don’t know how much people can read off of my face or how I act. I used to think not much, but I’m not sure anymore. Maybe.

I mean I try to keep my feelings from people. I don’t go out and say how I’m feeling, sometimes it’s just obvious.

Have you ever cried from being so mad?

I pretty much only cry when I’m angry. So yes. A lot.

Who did you last see in person?

Both of my parents who are now arguing about politics, which is normal in our family. For the record, I’m super far left but I respect other political views.

 

 Are you listening to music right now?

Two songs are really on my mind right now (I’m also listening to them).

Beginners by Slow Club because it really pertains to my life. Or at least I feel like it does.  I first heard it watching Daniel Radcliffe in the music video right when it first came out. I really like that video. I’ve also been drunk and done shit like that, thankfully alone where no one could see me. This part is especially relevant:

“ And in a moment it all came to this
The greatest book you ever read came from my favorites list
Of all the things to lose,
it’s you I choose.

Oh, I told you, oh, to be older,
You know I’m right
I’m right.”

The other one is ‘Broken Open’ by Cold War Kids. For me that song as been about three different people in my life (one of them I really miss) and it’s a really good song but it’s really tough to listen to sometimes. Very difficult.

 What is something you currently want right now?

Besides World Peace? Safe passage and homes for immigrants? Better access to healthcare in America? A law system that is better prepared to charge and prosecute rapists/sex criminals? A law and police system that doesn’t further victimize the victims of such crimes? Justice for victims of crimes of racial hatred? For Feminism not to be a dirty word and for Feminism to address the concerns of more women, not just certain women? General fairness and a better education system that reaches the people who need it most?

I think a lot of people want those things. But more selfishly I want peace of mind and health.

Since those things aren’t happening any time soon I’d like my favorite smoothie order (Strawberry Surfrider or Lucky Lemon Punch), a cute silk or satin pj set, more lingerie (maybe something red or purple?), lots new makeup, morebooks, jeans that actually fit properly, decent tees, and a great super awesome date that ends with kissing on a god damn bed. Oh and for my job search and applications to go well.

 What is the last thing you said out lot?

“Those were some really good brownies” (to diffuse a situation) and “Turn on Lucifer!”

 

 How is your heart lately?

I think it’s getting smaller. I can’t seem to care as much as I used to.  There’s just something cold and detached about it. I’m always thinking that if a person turns out to be different than I thought they were, I’ll be okay no matter what. That’s great. But I do love someone very much right now and I want things to work out between us.